The word "believe" has been coming up for me in a lot of places lately.
This is a page from a book I am working in. I have trouble believing that I am enough. At first I thought that statement "I am enough" meant "I am tough strong woman who does not need anybody or anything to make it through life." One night I was lying it bed and out of nowhere, it became crystal clear to me that "I am enough" really meant "I am (fill in the blank) enough. I am smart enough. I am creative enough. I am good enough. I am pretty enough. I am brave enough. I am strong enough.
You probably have your own things you could use to fill in the blank.
So part of the focus of this journal is to name the places where I am good enough. It is my hope that I will eventually be able to believe the "impossible things" not only before breakfast, but also all day long.
The other part of the work I will be doing in this journal is to make a list of the qualities of the type of woman I could respect and then to work on trying to become that woman. This was an idea from a friend of mine.
I've made the lists: "annie is a woman who ..." and I was all enthused and gung-ho when I started but I have not been back to it since I made that list!
I have issues with self-worth and I am way kinder to everybody else than I am to myself. So of course one of the things on the lists is that "I am a woman who is gentle with herself." That I can work on. "I am a woman who is secure in who she is" will be a bigger challenge.
And then there are things about the creative things I do. One of the things is that I want to work on reopening my Etsy store and doing something with my photographs and my "thangs."
I got kind of stuck on how to organize it after that so I've been thinking about what I want to do. Thinking about how you want to do something is an excellent way to procrastinate on actually doing that which you are thinking about!
And I have to remind myself that I don't need to work on everything on the list all at one time. I need to focus on one or two things at a time so that I don't get overwhelmed and quit altogether.
I won't bore you with those details but I think I have figured out what I am going to do and will probably work some on the list this weekend.