Saturday, May 25, 2013

"Show up and Shut Up"

(My son's first, and last, pair of boots. Photo taken at a picturesque little open air chapel, a very peaceful spot for me.)

I've seen this quote several places in the last week, with people passing it on from Rick Warren's Facebook page.

In 2011, I was inducted into two tribes, neither of which I wanted to be in. The first was the Cancer Tribe in November, the second was the Bereaved Parent Tribe in December. And, well, a year later I was also inducted into the One Year Cancer Free Tribe, which I wanted to belong to and for which I am very grateful.

These things change your life. And you learn things about how to comfort others, things you might never have learned any other way. But it's a high price to pay for the privilege of learning.

It takes a special kind of person, a hardy person, to be able to "show up and shut up" and, I would add, sit with, a person in such deep pain, in that place where there are often so many unanswered questions.

14 comments:

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    1. Some of us know better than others, don't we? <3

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  2. It's something we don't learn to do and something we don't teach, I guess, because things relating to death are things we want to avoid. If it happens to someone close to us, it could happen to US and that is very scary.

    I hate that you belong to the first two clubs, but am so very thankful for your membership in the third.

    <3

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    1. It is true that, for the most part, we don't want to face our immortality, or the immortality of our loved ones, but maybe we are making forward progress in this area, with those of us who are grieving talking about it.

      I'm thankful to be in the third club too--and working to make choices that will up my chances of STAYING in that club for many years!

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  3. Yup. And I love the quote. Then you get to belong to the "I've been to hell and back and survived it" club... thereby the grace of God go I. Amen.

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    1. Yep, that's definitely another club of a similar caliber, Lori! I'm glad you've survived!

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  4. Tossing it around in my mind if it's a matter of "things changing our life" or more like "life changing us". Also thinking that only you would stop for a burger on their way to such a privileged assignment. You are a special lady, my friend, and I like what you've done with the quote...

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    1. It might be both, Jim, things changing our life AND life changing us!

      Thank you for your encouragement and kind words through the years!

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    2. Just looked at my last comment, Annie, and took note that where I meant to say "only youth", this new keyboard of mine that is hooked somehow into the computer in some way so as to limit one's typing speed dropped the last two letter and has me accusing "you" of the McDonald stop. I need to start previewing these things more closely.....

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    3. Jim, I wondered about that! I figured you were referring the friends but I never did put it together in my head that the word you were wanting to use was youth!

      It's always difficult, having funerals where we live and then driving to the cemetery. Lunch time does usually fall in there and we try to leave some time for people to eat (I have several family members buried in this cemetery whose services were here) and since it is such a small place, there is not much choice for eats when you get there. They meant well!

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Don't just sit there staring, say something!