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Sunday, October 28, 2007

Habits

I think, when one sees this quote, the reaction will either be a caustic "Well, duh!" or a quiet "Wow, that is so true!" The words were written to me in reference to a decision I have been pondering for several years. I will not write of that decision here.

The thing is, I have lately heard several references to the habit of reviewing one's day at the end of the day. I used to do that, sort of, in an informal way, but lately have just been falling into bed and drifting off to sleep with no thoughts whatsoever of how I lived my day. That, my friends, is what they call an unobserved life (there is a popular quote about the tragedy of an unobserved life, I thought I had it in my 46 page collection of quotes, apparently, I do not).

I thought of this "thang" I created and I told myself that it is never too late to cultivate a new habit (or to renew an old one, in this case). So I am going to take some time at the end of the day to review my day. Maybe I will makes some notes in my journal or maybe I will fall asleep with the thoughts in my head. And somewhere in there, I will also take the time to thank God for the blessings of another day, for every day is valuable whether I see it as a good day or a bad day.

BTW, I posted this earlier and then came back to add the following:

My pattern for reviewing my day is somewhat setup to follow recommendations I condensed from the AA "Big Book". I have had all this written out on an index card for several months, but never really actually used it on a consistent basis.

IN THE EVENING


1) Review my day:

  • Was I resentful, selfish, dishonest or afraid?
  • Do I owe someone an apology?
  • Have I kept something to myself that should be discussed with another person?
  • Was I loving and kind toward all?
  • Did I think of myself most of the time?
  • Did I think of what I could do for others?
  • What could I have done better?
2) Ask God's forgiveness and inquire what corrective measures should be taken.

3) Don't forget to thank Him (I think I may have added this one myself, though gratitude is a common thread in AA wisdom).

The following is an example of a behavior that obviously needed to be reviewed at the end of the day. There are others for me that are harder to discern, such as the question of whether or not I have kept something to myself that should have been discussed with another person. I tend to hold a lot of things in that really should be let out (in a healthy way).

For instance, it is a common thing for Type Nine personalities to be out of touch with (or deny completely) their anger. So sometimes, they have little temper outbursts that are shockingly unlike their normal peaceful behavior. This happened to me the other day after almost getting pea-laid (that is not the correct spelling, but pronounce it as it is spelled, it is Cajun French that roughly translates to "knocked down") in the parking lot by a big black Hummer when she starting backing up with me behind her.

I honked my horn way longer than I needed to, and then I shouted at the top of my lungs, though no one but me could hear me, "Don't you see my ass back here?" I don't usually talk like that, and I don't usually have hissy fits like that, but still, I am sure I needed to seek forgiveness for that uncharacteristic act, because it was neither loving nor kind and it was not a healthy way to express my anger.

7 comments:

  1. People who drive Hummers are statistically rude, egotistical maniacs and she probably deserved it.
    Ok well maybe not... but I'm on your side here! haha though I do know what you mean, we all look for healthier ways to express/deal with our anger! yikes. Lordy me too.

    anyway, I know what your decision was... it was your decision to stop wearing dresses with green and purple polka dots to each and every wedding you went to. That was it, wsn't it? :o)

    I can't help myself I have to kid. But I do get your quote, and it is so very very true.

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  2. I love this post, Annie, from beginning to end. from "pea-laid" to uncharacteristic hissy fit. We didn't do the YDC today. Long story. And I made a woman mad in McDonalds when I failed to notice her toddlers waddling outside through the entrance. Nobody hurt as I gingerly danced around them and she was probably right that I was in too big a hurry, mind out in left field. Life happens...

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  3. Oh Annie...I love this and it is so revelant to my own life. Thank you.

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  4. Ouch. That thing about keeping stuff to yourself when you really shouldn't? That really hurts, man. I think my toes are bleeding...

    Good luck with your decision making.

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  5. Holy cow! You are so much more self-evaluative than me. Yikes. I should try that routine.

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  6. I LOVE the list! What a cool way to go to bed and know what needs to be done in your life first thing in the morning.

    As for the temper outburst - I'd ask forgiveness but wouldn't be too hard on yourself. At least you were INSIDE the car when it happened...

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  7. Captainwow I think you are probably right about Hummer drivers. She had, in fact, already cut in front of me at another spot in the parking lot.

    As for the decision, the question is whether or not to wear my teeth to the wedding....just kidding!

    Jim I'm glad you liked it. Sorry to hear you did not get to do YDC. I bet some of the kids do miss y'all when y'all don't make it, though they might not admit it.

    See, Jim, that is another example of a good use of the word pea-laid, as in "that old geezer nearly 'bout pea-laid Bubba and Sissy when we were coming out of McDonald's"!

    Mindy I am glad it is of relevance to you--hope you are not too prone to hissy fits!

    Rach Sorry about your toes! I sometimes wish I could be more of the "just blurt it out now and clean up the mess later" type!

    Cynthia You just don't know! Trouble is, I need to learn to use the self-evaluation for more than just beating myself up.

    Jules Yeah, I guess it could have been worse! I think it is a pretty good little list. I just have to remember to think about it at night.

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