I spent a good amount of time over the Christmas holidays in the country. I thought about what I might want to see/have/do in 2013. I've never been good at making resolutions and I'm even worse about keeping resolutions. Often what works best for me is to sort of remember them casually in my head. I think I might have mentioned that I attempted to work through Susannah Conway's workbook, "Unraveling 2013." I'm still working on it. I'm to the point where you pull out the calendar and write down stuff to do in the coming months of the year. I'm having a tough time deciding to do that! I want to keep the calendar and mark off my various "successes" after the fact! If I write stuff down now and do not do anything about it, that will make me feel bad.
Anyway, I started the work. I answered the questions and came up with several intentions. And then worried that the intentions would scatter like leaves once I started heading home. . .
I get hung up on thinking about all the things I could/should be doing and worrying about all the ways I could get hung up.
No doubt about it, 2013 will take some things from me. One question might be "what is left behind, and how do I live with what remains?"
I could find myself in the crotch of adversity! Oh, dear me!
And there are always thorns to prick and tear.
Fingers pointing out all the things you have not done.
Drooping but still beautiful, no?
Stuck! Or, enjoying the light and the warmth of the sun for just a moment or two?
Is this a helpful leaf, pointing the way?
I want the light to shine through me.
The vine creeps slowly along. The branch quietly supports her growth.
My favorite leaf of the day.
So, growth is one of the things I hope for from 2013.
Also, there is the intention to be more attentive to my present moment.
There are other things, too, but much of it is scattered like the leaves of the current season.
Scattered, like my thoughts today.
crotch of adversity. hhhmmmmm
ReplyDeleteThis was beautiful but different. I really thought that this would be a good verb. Yet, like you, my scattered is coming hard.
Love you
Thank you, Mindy! We continue to press on, don't we? Love you too...
DeleteMaybe, just maybe, the thing to do is live each day to the fullest and let tomorrow take care of itself. =) The book may be the wonderful solution to someone's problems, but maybe you operate on a different level. Possibly spending time listening to your own heartbeat, instead of trying to force it to beat to someone else's rhythm, will be more productive and less scattered. =) I'm just proposing ideas in counterpoint to what seems ... not scattered, but a bit stressed ... in your post. Maybe pick one thing to change, one area in which to grow, and see how much else changes and grows with it?
ReplyDeleteLoved your photos and your thinking out loud. Thank you so much for sharing this. It helped me see some things in my own thinking that I had ignored. =)
Yes, Susan, I do tend to make big lists and then ignore them, and the process is a bit stressful. I am slowly learning to follow my own intuitions, and to work on one thing at a time.
DeleteReally enjoyed the photos & thought process. I'm interested to see where you go and what you do this year.
ReplyDeleteAnd I thought both wrestling and scattered were pretty easy verbs. Until I tried to 'do' them. Gah! :)
Thanks, Rach!
DeletePS- Am I going somewhere this year?
Deletedid someone mention crotch? is that a verb? I bet it could be. I'll give you scattered....
ReplyDeletehey I don't remember you mentioning the Unraveling book... do we really need to unravel 2013 in January? Do we need to unravel at all? I'm just asking... how in heavens name do we decide to unravel when things are barely strung together as it is. If I became any more unraveled I would simply poof off into nothing and disappear... much like this whole scattered thing.
I need to be unraveled and restrung, Lori!
DeleteYou have such talent, ma'am. Surely at least some of that needs to be published. It's wonderful how you have used these leaves to express life.....
ReplyDeleteThanks, Jim, for your encouraging words!
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