Sometimes It's the LIttle Things

There was a bug who was quite methodical. I never saw the bug, only the results of his work. I imagine the bug was pretty small. This canna lilly stands almost six feet tall. This particular leaf has unfurled in spite of the damage done by the small bug chewing methodical holes in its edge.

I've thought tonight how, when one is going through things that are difficult, it's sometimes the tiny things that bring the most bitter disappointments.

Today was my first radiation treatment for breast cancer. The treatment itself went relatively well. In a day or two, I'll be accustomed to the routine and sailing in there like a pro.

The thing is, I was, I am, in a study they are doing on relaxation and radiation. I was very excited about this and I was looking forward to learning new skills in relaxation. I've already been keeping a sleep log and doing saliva samples for them to measure cortisol in my saliva.

There are three different groups. Two groups receive training and information on various methods of relaxation tactics. One group gets nothing until the end of the study (about four years later), when they well be invited to attend four free sessions of training. I wanted so badly NOT to get into the control group. Guess what group I am in? Yep, the group that gets nothing.

It was/is a disappointment to me. But there are so many worse things that could have happened. I'll accept the situation and move on. I still have much to be grateful for.