Monday, April 18, 2016
On A Different Threshold
I've been in Houston for the last five days, for tests and follow ups and checkups. I got good news on my colon. All is well with it (or with what's left of it)-no polyps and no irritated spots.
Over the weekend, I bought a new tennis racket. Have I mentioned here that I've started playing tennis again? I have. AND, I finally actually laid my own eyes on my sister, after her harrowing ordeal with her colon cancer surgery. She had several complications and different issues than I had. She is home now, but is still in the process of trying to heal from the surgery. We had a good visit. I know she's had a very tough time.
Today I was supposed to see my surgeon for a checkup (and for the results of the colonoscopy). But Houston had a humongous flooding rain and we couldn't get to MD Anderson because of the flooding. The surgeon called, and confirmed the news I'd already heard from the doctor who did the colonoscopy, that all was well in that area.
I was also supposed to see the liver doctor for follow up on the fatty liver issue. I'd done the ultrasound Friday. I haven't heard from his office yet. I'm hoping all is well there. But it might be a few days before I know.
Let me just say right here that Thursday and Friday were taxing, full days, with lots of unpleasant things happening on a very tight schedule.
I've said all that to say something else. And that is, that I have yet another health issue.
I don't know what's on the next horizon but I'm standing on a threshold that I don't really want to be standing on. I'm now facing breast cancer. I don't know much about it yet, only that I have a referral with a surgeon and he will have my options when I see him.
There's hope on this threshold, but it's going to involve more surgery, more testing, more waiting, more trips back and forth, more stress, more life interruption, and more expenses. Lord knows, it's not the threshold I'd hoped to step over, but it's the one I find myself on, and I will deal with it the best I can. And as I told my sister, sometimes it's okay to stop and say "dammit all," as long as we don't get stuck there!
I'm grateful today for loving family support and for a good solid base of friends I know I can turn to when I am unsettled with this news, both now and as treatment progresses. I'm grateful for good health care and for good insurance.
I'm working hard on not mullygrubbing here. I had looked forward to shopping for that tennis racket for several weeks. When I got the news that the mammogram needed follow up, and when I had the biopsy on Friday, I almost let that dissuade me from buying the racket, at least temporarily. But I decided to go ahead and buy the thing, as an act of faith and as an act of affirmation for me. I like my symbols, and this tennis racket is one for me. I hope I live long enough to wear that sucker out.