Saturday, June 23, 2018

"Statistically Significant"

Earlier this week I went to MD Anderson, where I did blood work and had a bone density scan. The medicine I am taking to protect me from the return of the breast cancer affects bone density (thanks, Arimidex). The medicine is "a hormonal treatment that helps fight breast cancer by lowing the amount of estrogen in the body." Estrogen is rather necessary for strong bones.

My "statistically significant" numbers had not moved in the direction I'd hoped they would move. So I will return in six months to see My Colon People and My Breast People. I will see My Liver People, including the Livid Liver Lady, in April. Gosh, I hope I haven't forgotten anyone. I will also have to forge a new relationship with The Bone People. I'm sure they are friends I haven't met yet.

My PA told me she has seen women increase their bone density. She made suggestions. The last thing I told her was that I felt like a challenge had been issued.

Deep inside I am disappointed and discouraged. The odds are stacked against me. I've done a lot of reading about ways to increase bone density (you sure can find a lot of quack-a-doodles when you search for health issues/solutions). For me to expect a positive change as soon as six months is probably not realistic. One might be inclined to think "Why bother? I'm fighting a losing battle." I am not that one.

I'm positive I'm not the first cancer patient caught between a rock and a hard place. I could choose to go off the Arimidex. Plenty of women have done so because of intolerable side effects. One night I woke up due to pain in both of my hands. That pain comes and goes. Lots of times it feels like I've caught a fast thrown hard ball without a glove. I decided I could live with that. 

Closer to the surface, I am feeling hopeful. I know I need a plan. I will need to set goals, track my progress, and actually meet those goals. I can't afford to be lackadaisical about this. I need to charge full on at this beast. The doing is the hard part. I have ideas on what I could do. I'm already doing a lot of the right things. I need to be more intentional with those actions. I've brainstormed and written a list of ideas to help myself improve my health. Just need to keep on moving toward better health.

“The most effective way to do it is to do it.” --Amelia Earhart

Wednesday, June 20, 2018

Still Kicking

Someone said something today about something I should write a blog post about. I'd been wanting to come here again and so I took that something they said as a message from the Universe.

But I can't remember exactly what it was we were talking about.

I'm still dealing with The Cancer (everything is going relatively well on that front).

I've still been sewing and putting together quilt tops that need to be finished. 

I'm taking swimming lessons, again, through the Wellness Program at work. I believe I might be a perpetually remedial student. I could swim if I didn't have to breathe.

I've begun walking again. I bought a Fitbit and I try to move more. I'm working on better eating habits. That will be a never ending project. I suppose all of it is a never ending project, in that I will never arrive at that place where I do it all perfectly. And then one day, I'll be gone. What will become of my never ending project?

What will remain undone?

What kind of mess will I leave behind for someone else to finish or clean up?