Tyler's Tree: May

I took this photo earlier in May, just almost waited till past May to post it! The tree is doing very well, growing and putting on new branches. The two flowerbeds you can see in the photo are very disheveled. We planted things in both beds without thoroughly cleaning them out. The theory was/is that the things we've planted will eventually take over the things we do not want in the beds. I have my doubts about that theory! Every weekend that we go up there, I pull a few more weeds. I must remember, gardening, like so many other things, is a process. Never a "once and done" thing.

I've been thinking about that a lot lately, how we never really "arrive," how we "learn" some lessons over and over in life. One of my biggest downfalls is that I think I have to have everything in order before I tackle actually living. It is not so, people! I have to live right here, right now, where I am, or I will have wasted my life.

Begin the work, the task, whatever it is, and know you may work on it your entire life, or you may complete the task only to be faced with other tasks. Such is life, I suppose.

Several weeks ago, I very casually began (or restarted) the task of moving toward better physical health. I signed up for "myfitnesspal" and "sparkpeople." I have been walking almost every day, I've been taking my medicines as prescribed (not skipping my night doses, not pouting because I have to take meds) and I have been tracking everything I eat. I installed the apps on my phone which makes it very easy to enter all the information. I've lost some weight. I'm not sure how much because I did not have a scale when I started and I just guessed my weight based on my last doctor visit. I am now within one or two pounds of where I was in November of 2011 after I had my cancer surgery*. But I still have more to lose. I've almost been doing this long enough that the experts would say I have established the habit. I am not so sure. In some ways, it is a big fat mind game, and I keep having to tell myself that just because I might not being doing the task perfectly, it doesn't mean I should quit altogether.

I checked out a book from the library (twice, I'm going to order a copy for myself) that has been very helpful to me. It's called "The Healthiest You: Take Charge of Your Brain to Change Your Life," by Kelly Traver. It's a 12 week program where you make small changes over the course of time. Of course, I have not followed her suggestions! I am still reading through the book. She does an excellent job of explaining things in terms so that one can make the connection between bad eating habits and poor health. I was planning on reading the book cover to cover and then going back and implementing her various tasks through the 12 weeks. As it turned out, I signed myself up on those websites and began recording my food intake and exercising. So I have begun. And I hope I continue!

Perhaps the "gardening theory" I spoke of earlier will work for me in my pursuit of better health--the good habits I am planting will soon (eventually) overtake the bad habits if I just keep on working on them.

(*A story of varying perspectives about my weight loss before and after the colon cancer surgery: When I went to visit the surgeon for the first time, I was a tad bit proud of my recent weight loss of about 20 pounds. However, I still was overweight. So when the surgeon mentioned the problem of having to go through "some fat" I was just a little bit insulted at first thought! But I realized he was right and it IS a problem.

I was visiting with an old friend the other night whose youngest daughter had to have surgery for Chron's disease. She'd had her surgery done here in town and couldn't remember the surgeon's name. She told the story of how the doctor who recommended the surgery told her daughter the surgeon would LOVE operating on her because she was thin!

I  realized then that she was probable talking about my surgeon so I named my surgeon to my friend and she said "yeah, that's him!" So I was mad all over again at my surgeon for daring to mention the obvious to me!

In spite of that, I liked him a lot and he did a great job. He is known around here as the Colon King. He served in the military and worked around big military jets which impacted his hearing. So you have to sort of talk loud about your business. That part was not so much fun, yelling out in a hospital room where you know they can hear you all through the halls, "YEAH, DOC, MY BOWELS MOVED TODAY. IT WAS GREAT AND EVERYTHING WORKED JUST FINE!")

Two last things and I will hush--My oncologist told me the biggest factor that would cause the cancer to come back is a high fat diet. I read on the internet that not enough oncologists tell their patients that regular exercise is a huge help in causing cancers not to come back. I am trying to work on both of those factors. I can't control these things (and I do not necessarily spend a lot of time fretting about it coming back) but I can do some things to help improve my odds. 

Actually, I have one other thing to say about this current pursuit of better health. I have a friend at work who has done an awful lot of work on her health and fitness. It's been very inspiring to watch her and to see the results of the changes she has made. I won't name her here, but she knows who she is and I just want to say, "thank you very much, friend, for the inspiration and the courageous example you have been." I just might add a few years to my life, thanks to you!

Tyler's Tree: April

I took this photo around the 8th of April and never posted it. Since that time the tree has put out more leaves and branches and also had a cold spell come through that took off some leaves and branches. But it is still looking good and growing energetically!

And, oh yeah, my azaleas were beautiful this year. My husband keeps asking me "is that all they are going to do, flower one time?" and I keep telling him "yes, once a year they go all out and then they rest!"

We had a family reunion at our place this past weekend and there was a whole herd of smallish children. I kept nervously watching all the things we had planted, hoping none of them would come to any harm. Everything went very well until we were walking with the last family group out to their car when suddenly, their four year old reached out and snapped off the top of one of our newly planted trees! Nobody knew what to say! We were all shocked. It turns out the poor kid thought it was a weed and we "didn't want it to get any bigger"! Hopefully the tree will recover but if not, my mother has plenty more "babies" where that one came from.

Tyler's Tree: March

I know it doesn't look like much but if you look closely, you can see signs of new growth. This tree looks about the way I feel lately! It's sort of hard to believe there is new life rising out of that stick. But it's there and spring is coming!

I also noticed when I was editing these photos that the pictures I took in January of Tyler's tree show branches. The pictures I've taken lately show just a stick coming up out of the ground. I don't know if something broke the branches off or what. I am going to investigate the next time I am there.

We created a primitive bed around the tree. There was a large stump there, with roots, left over from a sweet gum tree that died. We planted ferns and a few flowers and bulbs in there. According to my mother, the things we planted will spread and grow over the roots. We also put a couple of bird baths in that area. I'm trying hard to get a way to get the birds closer so I can get pictures of them. We shall see what happens.

Next time I go, the two huge azalea bushes should be blooming and with any luck, we will find a couple of wild dogwoods blooming as well.

I keep trying to make myself forget the prospects of running into Mr. Snake again on my trail. I'm not doing well with that project!

Tyler's Tree: February

I took this earlier in the month, the weekend of February 8th, which means it was about a month from the last time I took photos of his tree. What I notice (my verb for week before last, I believe) is that Tyler's tree seems to be a bit slower than the other trees we planted. One of the other rain trees had a small green leaf shooting out from its stem. Tyler's tree is almost too thin to cast a shadow! I have high hopes that it will blossom soon, that maybe when March rolls around, there will be something more than a stick to photograph.

I saw this quote today in the comments section of a blog I read:

"Without your wounds, where would your power be? It is your melancholy that makes your low voice tremble into the hearts of men. The very angels, themselves, cannot persuade the wretched and blundering children of this world as can one human being, broken on the wheels of living. In Love's service, only wounded soldiers can serve." -- Thornton Wilder

I like it.

Tyler's Tree: January

It does not look like much right now! There were green leaves on the tree when we planted it on December 8th, but the cold seems to have gotten to the leaves. My mother assures me it will probably be all right in the spring! It is a transplant that came up at her house. We planted two or three other rain trees that day but this one is Tyler's memorial tree.

Here we have Mama's shadow with Tyler's tree.

I took liberties with my editing because there really isn't much to see with the dried up leaves and the puny little trunk of this tree as it is now. But I do have high hopes for it to take off and grow in the spring. Maybe next month I will tell the tree all about how I am documenting its growth over the coming year and it will be encouraged to grow well!

I can't accurately tell you how its growth progresses. The site I found when I googled "rain trees" says this:

The Golden Raintree Shade Tree is a medium-sized shade tree that produces a remarkable floral display in June and July, in a cascade of brilliant yellow flowers produced in enormous panicles. The Golden Raintree turns bright yellow in the fall. Inflated decorative seed pods turn from pale green to pink as Summer progresses are very ornamental. The spring yellow flowers of the Golden Raintree are followed by Chinese lantern shaped oriental seedpods.

The Golden Rain Tree is a fast growing flowering tree that reaches twenty-five feet at maturity. The bright yellow flowers form huge clusters usually over one foot in diameter. After flowering the Golden Rain Tree flower clusters change into very attractive lantern clusters with that exotic oriental look. Each lantern contains seeds that birds and squirrels feed upon during the winter. In July when the lanterns first form they show color transition from pink to yellow, and then in late fall become a chocolate brown in color.

But for now, it is a tangle of stick branches and a few dead leaves. I believe it is about five feet tall. I will measure it in February. I don't expect it will look much different then from how it looks now. Well, yeah, it might have fewer leaves by then.

This last photo was taken with my phone and I added a texture layer to it. My shadows says "I am here, holding Tyler's memory in my heart."

Looking Up

I've been thinking about some sort of personal creative project I can do in the coming year, partly to keep an incentive to post regularly on my blog.

Well, ta-da!

The first one will involve monthly photos of a tree. Not just any tree, but the tree we planted on the year anniversary of my son's death. That project will be called (and tagged) "Tyler's Tree: A Year in the Life."

The second project will be called (and tagged) "52 Verbs." A month or so ago, I created a list of verbs. I wasn't sure what I was going to to do with them, but I had a couple of ideas so I went ahead and made my list so it would be ready when the rest of the idea showed up! I have 106 words on my list, so I will have plenty enough not to be stuck with a "dud" verb through the year. I'm going to write the words down on separate pieces of paper and each week, I am going to pull one out of the stack. That will be my verb to focus on that week. I'm not sure how what I will do each week. I already have this week sort of figured out in my head and I will "wing it" from there. I might do an ATC card or a "thang" or I might just write about the word. We'll just have to see what happens.

I also plan to keep on participating in Bella's "52 Photos Project," or, perhaps more accurately, to return to participating in that project, as I have slacked off in the last few weeks.

I have more that I want to write about the silent retreat and a few other things that have happened, or have come to me, over the holidays.