Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Hanging On

I don’t know what to say next. Thank you all for your encouraging words. We are all doing about as well as can be expected.

I read a timely quote from Anne Lamott recently:
You want to protect your child from pain, and what you get instead is life, and grace; and though theologians insist that grace is freely given, the truth is that sometimes you pay for it through the nose. And you can't pay your child's way.

I think this is one of those times when grace has to be paid for through the nose… and I can’t pay my son’s way. I’ve been trying to plant that thought in my son’s heart, that yes, he has messed up, and yes it will cost him, but his life is not over. He can get up again and start a new day, clean and drug-free. I’ve talked to him about praying and about how sometimes we have to walk through some ordeals, that in the end, we are strengthened more than if we were rescued from the ordeal.

It sounds like the same kind of stuff I have heard from my heavenly Father as I have ranted and railed and asked for healing for my son (partially so that my own suffering will be eased). How will you grow if you are rescued from this? How will you learn to walk if you don’t first take a wobbly step and fall and then get up again?

That's how life is, outside the garden.


  1. Boy that's the truth, her words and yours both. And no, you can't do it for them. truth is sometimes we can hardly do for ourselves. I am not sure that it would be easier to do it for them Annie, I don't think so. And I think too, that even before we take that first step out on those wobbly legs, we must first learn to stand on our own. I think that process of standing, and then stepping out is all part of a developing faith and the grace that goes along with that. And one just feeds the other. I say this because I have fallen down a few times myself.

  2. Hold on to hope, annie. God is faithful. I have a sister who, in her late adolescence, did everything she could to not be a member of our family. She lived with several men before she found one to marry, and he was a bad choice. But one day he was converted to Christianity while on a business trip. And when he came home, God started speaking to my sister through him. Six months later, she accepted Christ.

    Hold on to hope.

  3. I wish we could help. You have some powerful thoughts in this post.

    Thank you for sharing this - I've learned from you.

  4. I like the Anne LaMott quote. It sounds, though, like she's not the only one speaking to and through your heart. Hold on to Hebrew's anchor-line, my friend. The first walls to come down have to be the ones he, himself, has built around himself......

  5. I am continually amazed at parents and their fortitude and perseverence for their children. I have seen my own sister suffering with her son and his drug and alcohol abuse and I have seen her down so low that she had nowhere else to go. But somehow, time does help and sometimes heal. Everything just takes time these days, Annie. I'll add you and your son in my prayers today...


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