I spent a good amount of time over the Christmas holidays in the country. I thought about what I might want to see/have/do in 2013. I've never been good at making resolutions and I'm even worse about keeping resolutions. Often what works best for me is to sort of remember them casually in my head. I think I might have mentioned that I attempted to work through Susannah Conway's workbook, "Unraveling 2013." I'm still working on it. I'm to the point where you pull out the calendar and write down stuff to do in the coming months of the year. I'm having a tough time deciding to do that! I want to keep the calendar and mark off my various "successes" after the fact! If I write stuff down now and do not do anything about it, that will make me feel bad.
Anyway, I started the work. I answered the questions and came up with several intentions. And then worried that the intentions would scatter like leaves once I started heading home. . .
I get hung up on thinking about all the things I could/should be doing and worrying about all the ways I could get hung up.
No doubt about it, 2013 will take some things from me. One question might be "what is left behind, and how do I live with what remains?"
I could find myself in the crotch of adversity! Oh, dear me!
And there are always thorns to prick and tear.
Fingers pointing out all the things you have not done.
Drooping but still beautiful, no?
Stuck! Or, enjoying the light and the warmth of the sun for just a moment or two?
Is this a helpful leaf, pointing the way?
I want the light to shine through me.
The vine creeps slowly along. The branch quietly supports her growth.
My favorite leaf of the day.
So, growth is one of the things I hope for from 2013.
Also, there is the intention to be more attentive to my present moment.
There are other things, too, but much of it is scattered like the leaves of the current season.
Scattered, like my thoughts today.