Friday, December 03, 2010

Most Alive

December 3 – Moment. Pick one moment during which you felt most alive this year. Describe it in vivid detail (texture, smells, voices, noises, colors). (Author: Ali Edwards)
I searched my journal of the past year for evidence of a moment when I felt most alive. Mostly what I found were moments of heartache and pain (note to self: take time to write about the "good" things too).
I found this place by accident as I was driving around looking for a place to take pictures. It is in a secluded area and is a peaceful place to sit and reflect. Emotionally, I was in a rough spot and needed a bit of time to myself. I've been meaning to go back and sit quietly with my journal but I just have not made the time to go again. The following comments are notes written in my journal on a cold day last February and I really did feel most alive.

I am sitting in the Chapel of the Holy Spirit in Big Lake, or Grand Lake. I get them mixed up. I've been taking pictures and my fingers are frozen. Someone called and I missed it. I am distracted by that, hoping she did not expect something from me that I do not have in me to give. And I'm worrying about what might be wrong.

I was going to sit here and pray and listen but now I am worried again and can't hear anything in me but my own voice and maybe the voice of the person who called earlier.

The chimes were silent for a moment and I heard a bird. Now both the chimes and the bird are going. The wind blows the corner of this page. A car goes by, gears shifting as he picks up speed. There is water here too. The wind ripples across the surface and the sun sparkles, points of light on the dark water. I think I heard a frog croaking just now.


  1. I've been a silent reader, keeping up with you since the beginning of November. I've been a silent blogger, too, but no more!

    I think I'm right there with ya in heartache and pain. Alas. Things will get better.

  2. Glad to see you back around, Patti! Here's to things getting better, and to us holding on for that day!


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