It's been a beautiful and a brutal winter, both literally and metaphorically. "Brutiful" is the made-up word I saw sometime today on a blog post somewhere. Yes, that. We had "snow days" on two different occasions. On one of those breaks, it actually snowed! It was enough to blanket the ground in a solid white that lasted a couple of days. I was grateful to see snow again! But the cold weather seemed to last forever. The cold and the dark was not good for my soul. I said more than once that I did not know how people up north survive the length of winter with its lack of light.
The winter was brutal on my exercise schedule and I got off track with that. I am slowly trying to get back around to a regular walking schedule. Progress is very slow.
But now spring seems to have arrived around here and I am in a somewhat better frame of mind (or I hope to be, very soon). I have stories in my head that I want to write but they seem to be stuck and the words won't come out. My thoughts don't seem to be sticking very well and I can't remember sometimes if I have written about certain things or not.
It wasn't long ago that I stopped and took these photos of an abandoned
fire tower located in a field on one of the roads we often travel when
we go to the country. They make me remember that part of what I am doing
as spring comes is to look around and survey my grounds to see what
damage winter has done and to see the places in my life where my
attention is needed most.
My blog is one place I want to direct my attention. Comparing myself to others (and coming up short) is one thing that keeps me from here. It is a debilitating self-consciousness that keeps me sitting quietly in the corner. Right now, I have three stories that I need to tell. I need to relax and get them told. Maybe now that the weather is improving and light is returning to the days I will open up and let the stories flow. I want to. I surely do. It seems to me that a commitment to just showing up would be helpful.
Maybe now that the light has returned to the skies, and to the days, I will throw off that dark cloak of winter and choose to show up again, here on the blog, and in my life. I desperately need to.
I am grateful for the light.
Wow! Beautifully put! And dang if I'm not feeling exactly the same. I really want to write. And then I don't do it. Bah.
ReplyDeleteMe three! And there's something in me that just can't get the words out. And my head isn't a good place to mull around in.
ReplyDeleteoh yes, thank goodness for the return of more light. Speaking on behalf of those who live up north, we barely made it through this one it seems. That was the longest coldest winter that I can recall. In fact, here it was the second coldest winter since around 1893 or something. And it beats me how anyone survived that winter without a furnace!
ReplyDeleteHaven't been around much at all either but I look forward to all your stories.