Pondering

I'm pondering this one over the weekend.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

...Still a Beautiful World

 I planted a pack of sunflower seeds in the country back in May (I believe). It seemed like it took forever for the plants to come up, and then for flowers to bloom. I only had a few of them to bloom. I think I planted them too late and I think it was too dry for them. I wasn't there often enough to water them properly.

Anyway, we were there this past weekend and I believe this is the last one of my blooms.

The weekend was a bit sad for me. My son was on my mind and I was missing him so much. I don't know why sometimes it just hits me again like the grief is all brand new, but it does. And I suppose that is relatively normal. Friday night, I made this one on my phone.

Saturday morning, I got up and someone had sent me a copy of Desiderata. As I read again those familiar words, I decided I'd use my little sunflower quote to make another photo reminder to "Be cheerful" and "Strive to be happy."

"Share your joys and they are multiplied. Share your sorrows and they are divided." It's so true, and I'm grateful it is so.

Mindful Presence and Vulnerability

This one was a birthday tribute for a friend.

I'm grateful for the presence of several people in my life
who are able to offer their mindful presence to me.

I need to work on my own ability
to be present to those closest to me, my family.

It's not always an easy thing to do, for family or friends. We get distracted.

And sometimes, presence is the only thing
we can offer in the face of pain and/or problems 

that are not easily solved
(or may not ever be solved, really). 

It takes a courageous person to sit with someone in that kind of situation 

and not panic 

when it is clear 

there is nothing one can do to improve the situation or take away the pain.

This one is just another good quote.

I've found this to be true.

But hard. 

Being vulnerable is risky.

The trick is in finding the "safe people."

In other news:

I'm heading off this morning to visit with a few friends from my younger days. We are going to have an adult slumber party and catch up on our lives from the last, um, nearly forty years. Good grief, how can it be that we have been adults for so long?

I've lost 20.2 pounds. Last night I walked four miles and I needed every single step of that walk! I'd had a rough day and it was wonderful how walking cleared my head and calmed me down.

Resolutions and Luxuries

Don't be worried. It's just a bit of dark humor. I saw this somewhere on a magnet or something and I kind of like it so I put it on the photo of my hand.

Later I saw this quote and thought it was an affirming companion to the other quote so I put it on the photo of my hand!

(This was supposed to automatically post last Sunday. It did not. I don't know why.)

 

Expansive Heart

August?? Already???

I can't believe it's been so long since I've posted anything! And I can't believe how many of my blogging friends' posts I have missed! I miss writing here but something is "off" and I seem to have momentarily lost my rhythm.

I'm still working on my health and fitness. That takes an hour in the evenings after work. But I'm enjoying the benefits this new habit brings me so I hope to keep on working out.

And on most weekends I am not near my laptop, and only have my phone so my internet usage is relatively minimal.

And for some reason, which I kind of understand, but have not worked out completely in my head, I just have not been very inspired to write or read much. But I do miss both and hope to get back into the loop soon!

I have not even had my big camera out since late May, I believe. For one thing, it's been so HOT, not exactly conducive to walking around taking pictures. For another thing, I have several apps on my phone that make it so easy to create and edit photos. I've even managed to take several photos of myself that I like! They are so strongly edited that sometimes I feel like they don't really look much like me but that is one of the things on my mind at the moment--my image of myself and how I feel about how I look. I don't have things thought out well enough to begin writing about it here yet.

One thing I know is that I have several little "thangs" that I've created on my phone that I have not shown here. I may try to post one or two here every other day or so and see what happens. Maybe I will have something to say and maybe I won't. I'll just have to see. And somehow I will try to catch up with my own blog reading and commenting on some of your blogs!

Someone complimented me today on my growth and affirmed me as an artist and a "see-er". I totally appreciated her words but somewhere I've lost the idea that I have something of worth to say and share here. So I've been quiet. And feeling somewhat bland, I might add.

Life is so often about finding balance. I'm making progress in changing my behavior in the health/fitness area but now other areas are being neglected. I just need to find my balance. Again.

(The photos were all taken at our place in the country. With my phone.)

Here. Here's a first installment on the phone "thangs."

See? Here's the problem with the phone apps! They are often so easy to do and to make changes to that I end up with a couple of different versions of the same thing! I think I like the brighter one best. The background is a standard linoleum floor covering that looks like marble tile and I changed the colors around in one of the editing apps.

I still miss him, my son. I may have written here about this thought I had one day at the cemetery, "When I visit my son's grave I am vividly reminded that fear of loss and pain are not valid reasons to fear loving others." It's true, you know.

Excuses, Excuses

I don't know where the time has gone! I didn't realize it had been so long since I'd posted something here.

I've been going full throttle with my physical fitness work. I've been at it for a little over 2 months. I've been going to the gym after work and have dropped 16 pounds. I feel so much better these days. In fact, I think I may have totally lost my mind because I am thinking about doing a "couch to 5K" program!

On the weekends we are usually in the country, where there is no internet other than what I get on my phone.

So these are my excuses for not being around and hopefully I'll be back with more later. In the meantime, there is this quote by Emerson to consider.