Monday, May 30, 2005

Living in the Present

My son is staying with his grandfather, working with him six days a week, crabbing. Another effort to keep him out of trouble. He is staying in an old hunting camp, certainly not luxury accommodations, but the scenery is beautiful.

There is a pond with a dock where he goes in the evenings to throw out fish food. Most of the fish are still kind of tiny, although we saw an ugly old gar fish that was a good size. The water was too dark to get a good picture of him.

Tonight he called from the dock and said he was playing around with the alligators, said he was going to jump in the water and try to pull this four foot gator out of the water. I said "Oh my gosh, son, don't do that. That water is too dirty."

No, I told him he'd better stay on the dock, that little gator might have a mama underneath there, looking out for her baby.

This bird was wedged up in the tree. He is dead. I wonder what happened that he died like that.

I left my camera for my son and father-in-law to take pictures. My son told me he got a picture of the alligator and of a crab the size of a dinner plate, the largest one he has seen so far. When we get the pictures developed I will post them.

It's hard work, they get started around five in the morning. As my son says, with a trace of irony in his voice, when it gets dark, that means it's time for bed. Not much time or energy left for getting into trouble.

My father-in-law is a retired school teacher/coach and a full-blooded Cajun. He and my son have never been really close in a traditional sense, but there has always been an odd bond between the two of them. Hopefully this time spent together will be good for my son.

Tomorrow they will probably cast for shrimp and fry some up for supper. What a life!

He's not out of the woods yet, (are any of us ever really out of the woods?) but he is in a clear spot and this mama is learning to live in the present, looking neither too far ahead nor too far back.


  1. This is gold. Pure gold. I love the images and the imagery. I'm glad your son is in that clear spot and that you have the wisdom know it.

    Been catching up on your posts. Glad you are back!

  2. oh, annie!! he is right where he is supposed to be and the wisdom to keep him there? you are doing so much good for him, bless God.

    and bless you, mama. i can feel your mama's heart and know this is difficult, but what a road he is on.

    keep focusing on what you need to for today. "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." (matthew 6:34)

  3. Annie- you are so open and so inspirational- I love visiting you! God bless your son and you!

  4. from one mama of a son who needs one to another ... bless you!

  5. Amen. Amen.
    This is beautiful in so many ways. A place so beautiful. A task so elemental. If this is your son walking away from the camera...I believe he is walking towards health. I hadn't imagine him so big...big as a man. This is the place for him to grow into himself and to find out what it means to be a real man. Bless you. Rest you.

  6. SpookyRach said...Thanks Rach! You are too flattering! I am glad you liked the images.

    m2 Thanks for the Scripture Penni, the Bible's version of "one day at a time"! (which remionds me of the country/gospel day at a time, sweet jesus, that's all I'm asking of you...if you cold really hear me singing, you'd ask me to stop!

    Regina Clare Jane Oh girl, I am so guilty of hiding the really ugly stuff, the struggle on the way to acceptance!

    Carolyn I've seen your good news and have failed to say how very thrilled I am for you. May God continue to bring you and your son back together.

    Connie It is my son in the picture. Yep, he is closer to being a man than I want him to be, but isn't that always the way it is?! Now we pray that his "insides" catch up with his body, that he continues to mature and make positive choices.


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