Tuesday, February 04, 2014

Lions and Tigers and Bears, Oh My!

Getting back into the groove of work after two long weeks off for the holidays, most of it spent in the quiet of the country, is generally a bit of an adjustment for me. Then, about the time I was settling back in, we had a snow day. It was a Friday so as soon as it seemed safe we loaded up and headed out to the country. We arrived to see our house and yard and the woods covered in snow. That was a fantastic weekend. I've been hoping for a couple of years to get to see a good accumulation of snow again and this was my hope come true! 

Then, the next week, we had two snow days! We stayed in town that time, and I got a few things done around the house that needed doing. And I returned to work joking that I reckoned we ought to get three snow days this week! But alas, it was not to be so. 

I recently told a couple of real life friends that there is a darkness that feels a bit like a black bear that is always pursuing me, and I am always running, trying to stay a step or two ahead of it. I would not say it is depression. But it is something. I wish I could turn and kill it once and for all. I'm grateful for friends in my life who can hear stuff like that from me and a) not think I am nuts for expressing myself that way, and b) not over worry about me when I express myself that way.

It has been a problem, for a couple of weeks now. I think partially the problem is that I am longing for light and spring time, ready for the season to change. And I have some real burdens on my plate at the moment. I am sometimes weary from trying to stay ahead of that bear. I try to remind myself that the feelings are temporary and will pass. 

I'm telling this because I have decided that I think the black bear is trying to tell me that I can do better and he has my back. I think his name is Awareness. But everybody knows "ignorance is bliss."

Sometimes the scary things we tend to run from are not the scary things we think they are. Sometimes if we'll slow down, just a little, and take a chance, we'll discover the scary things are there to teach us something.

Lions and tigers and bears, oh my!


  1. The first time I read this, your black bear reminded me of my mentor talking to me about Abraham Lincoln. Jim said Lincoln referred to his depression/melancholia as having a touch of "the black dog."

    Maybe turn and take a look at that bear... could be trying to give you support or a message or just a big ol' hug. He certainly won't hurt you.


  2. *Sometimes the scary things we tend to run from are not the scary things we think they are.* THAT sums up so much of my life. I love this dear one. Totally. Awareness


Don't just sit there staring, say something!