Saturday, December 31, 2005

One Sparkling Moment

Yesterday, at my uncle’s funeral, when the preacher looked down at the casket and assured the family that this (death) was not the end, and asserted that if it were the end, life would be terrible, I experienced a sparkling moment of clarity in the blur of grief.

I realized that in spite of all my recent complaining about the pain and disappointments and heartaches in my life lately (and all the while accusing myself of lacking gratitude), indeed, I am grateful for life itself. I have been loved and I have loved. If this was it and if it all ended today—right here, with no heaven and no hell, I’d still be very grateful for the life I have been given. I can’t negate what I have been given by saying it would be terrible if life and then death were all there is.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that I am not grateful for the promise of eternal life and the glories of heaven. I think I am saying that if I never received another blessing from God, I have enough. I have been blessed beyond measure. Life is a gift.

(And God, help me to keep sight of my gratitude and to move (again) toward the realization that I have “enough” – no matter what my circumstances might be. Help me to remember that in You, I really am complete. And I am loved, warts and all. Because You know I will forget, and I will start to complain, and I will…well, You know me, You know how I am. And yet, You still love me.)


  1. Annie -- I hadn't stopped by for a few days and am just now reading about your loss. Your sympathy with the poor man who hit your uncle brought even more tears to my eyes. What a wonderful kind person you are! Let's have faith that this new year will bring wonderful bright things to you and your family!

  2. Yes, you are loved, Annie! May God keep you in his care and may you always feel that care within yourself. Happy New Year, dear...

  3. Annie, you remain a blessing......

  4. And may it always be enough.......

  5. What a wonderful blessing to sit in the midst of all that pain and hurt and realize with an overflow of gratitude that God is so very good to you.

    (God, take note of this and pour that same wonderful grace on me when it is my turn to next sit and mourn the loss of one I love.)

    Amen. God bless.

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  7. You are so precious and loved. I love your pic.

    I wish that I was as faithful as you.

  8. This is beautiful! I really needed this reminder today. You have inspired me to remember that God will ensure that I get what is necessary for today. I can really identify with forgetting to be grateful, even with the abundance of love and blessings in my life.

  9. Very powerful. (Best use I have EVER seen for that photoshop function!!)

  10. Sorry for your loss Annie, your Uncle will go into my daily prayers, and I'll light a candle for him Sunday morning.

    You're right though, we all have so much to be thankful for. I opened my cupboard the other day, and for the first time it struck me that we had a heckuva lot of food in our house, moreso than alot of thrid world countries, and that half way around the world people in india are fighting for a warm dry spot of dirt, just to survive the winter, and here I am, P.O'd that local TV interrupted "E-Ring" for some silly "Carolina Camera" special.

    It's true what Innocence Mission wrote; "noone knows how they are loved".

  11. Oh Annie,
    I have been away for so long...only to discover this sad loss. You have a fine perspective on this grief!!! Yes, you love and are loved. May God bless you this New Year and give you the desires of your heart.


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