My friend the pysho therapist taught me that though it is always a risk to be truly seen, it can also be quite rewarding. I’m thinking I will take the risk, but what if I am sorry afterwards? Then the horse is out of the barn, so to speak, and there will be nothing I can do to undo that. Well I could do something, I have seen others do something about the problem, but it would take a lot of work.
I started blogging as a creative outlet and as a way to add variety to my world. Also, at the time I was in school for Commercial Art and one of my teachers kind of casually remarked that I was technologically challenged. I wanted to verify to myself that I could do this. I had recently rediscovered my love of collage and was participating in a Yahoo group and wanted a place to show my creations. There were several blogs I read on a regular basis that became my inspiration at the time for the direction I wanted to go with my blog. I still consider those bloggers to be above my level. I no longer aspire to be so much like them. Instead I am content to let my own blog go in whatever direction it will go. It has evolved into an eclectic collection of personal anecdotes. I am pleased with the evolution.
I realize now that I also wanted a way to be seen. I've been through a lot of doggie doo since I began blogging and I have made meaningful connections with several people through this experience. I think I have also grown quite a bit since my first post. In thinking about this, I think my growing self would say to the timid me "Oh get over yourself woman and allow your self to be your self."
It's been a lot of fun--and no, I am not about to say that I am quitting! The end of this month will mark my third anniversary in blogland so I have been a bit introspective about that. Do any of you ever think about the fact that we bloggers are walking on such new ground? I've read where they caution young people about the things they put on their MySpace pages, that those things could come back to haunt them years later when they start to look for their first "real" jobs. This stuff never really disappears from cyberspace. These blog postings may have the potential to become the equivalent of old diaries and journals from our grandparents' generations. Years from now some whippersnapper may read our words and come to conclusions about how we lived "back then".
But even more fascinating to me is seeing how cyber friendships develop through these interactions. I value my little group of consistent readers and the friendships that have developed. I love hearing from y'all. Y'all have been a source of encouragement and inspiration to me and have more that sated my need to eavesdrop on the lives of others.
(Y’all do know annie oddflower is not my real name, don’t y’all? I mean, isn’t that much obvious? Annie is a nickname given to me by the couple I worked for in the sporting goods store. All during my first week there, the husband kept calling me Annie. I answered to Annie, it was obvious he was talking to me, but inside I grumbled “I’ve been working here a week and this goofball doesn’t even know my name yet.” Turns out, he often used nicknames and I grew to like mine and became accustomed to answering to it, so when the time came to choose a name for my alter ego blog writer, I chose Annie. I added the Oddflower as a tribute to my Native American roots, and because, well, it fit so well. I am a bit of an odd flower! I freely admit that much.)
(Didn't I already say I was grateful for my dear readers?
I sure hope so, and I am thankful for you, my dear readers!)