I tend to be able to pull myself out of depression, which I think, makes sense if I have the dysthymic depression that the doctor said I had several years back when he gave the bleak prognosis that I would probably need to be on medicine for the rest of my life. The thing is, it takes a lot of energy to talk myself out of the depression, and it never lasts very long. Then I have to start talking to myself again. And I am tired.
It's gotten to where it is almost all I can do to get up and go to work. Several kind people have helped convince me that I probably need to get back on the medicine. I call these people kind almost sarcastically because who wants to be looked straight in the eye and be told "You are depressed, and you need something to help you cope." And then when I complained to another person, saying I have been coping, he had to say "Yes, but how well have you been coping?" Both these people are professional therapists so they ought to know that of which they speak.
I know it too, in my heart of hearts. And I am somewhat relieved to be finally reaching for the safety net.
Day 17: I am thankful for medicine, and for the insurance that helps to pay for it, that stuff is danged expensive and somebody needs to do something about it.
(Please forgive the high number of sentences that seem to run on and on. I think it has something to do with my relief at having finally decided to do something to help myself with this problem!)